Issue # 118 Zzaj Rant
I’m not now (nor have I ever been) inclined to take the opinions of others at face value; I (always) want to examine them first & contrast them with my own views and ideas. I suppose (in today’s PC-world) that makes me somewhat of an “outcast”… well, so be it, I reckon! The other thing that feeds this slightly-jaded view of the world around me is that if others don’t take my views, rip them down to the lowest value and contrast them with theirs (in other words, if they don’t consider my own ideas worthy of examination), then I move on away from them. Everyone needs to “give” a little, in the sense that they (at least) consider the thoughts and feelings of those they deal with, but to take it to the extreme of having to try and “read their minds” is (in my estimation, anyway) LUDICROUS!
I’m at a stage in my life right now where I’m sorta’ “regressing” to my childhood, I suppose… I’m often accused (by some close to me) of “acting like a kid” – well, duh! What could be more natural & desirous than childhood?
The dilemma, of course, is that when a person with my inclinations “moves away” from others, there aren’t any “others” to “be with”… so, I charge on (as I always have) to the next plateau… in my (ever-so-slightly) twisted view of things, this is called “survival”… & that’s most likely the key thing for anyone who is interested in me to know – I WILL SURVIVE! For the most part, that means I will retreat into worlds of fantasy… written/spoken word, music and all those things that have always helped me through the rough times. The “good thing”, I believe, is that through experiences of my own, I’ve come to believe (very firmly) that escape into drugs or alcohol is – NOT FOR ME! Things would probably be better for me (at this ripe ol’ age of 65) if I had cultivated “escape” fantasies that involved running and physical exercise, but alas, my jib’s not “cut that way”… oh, I still get out & about, walk a bit, but getting immersed in some physical regimen on a daily basis just isn’t why I was put here on this earth!
I doubt most will be able to read between my lines, or if they do, they will read wrong… I’m doing well, I’m happy at both work and home, but as I grow older, I’ve come to feel that many around me are incapable/inflexible enough in their worldviews that they can no longer be an active part of the life I live. Sad in one way, but ENERGIZING in another… I’ve no doubt that when I (finally) make it back to “home-turf”, I will be creating lots of music & spoken word – “getting it all out”, so to speak. It is with this somewhat uneven rant that I leave you until the next issue, # 119… which I will be starting on this week! In the meantime – ENJOY YOUR LIFE – it may be the only one you get! lol